With all sincerity,
with all honesty…

THANK YOU.

For entering the
deepest chambers
of my gloomy universe,
my dull and not so glittery world.

Your dazzling presence created
the brightest stars,
the vibrant colors.

YOU MADE ME ABUNDANT AGAIN.
With your warmth,
with your care.

I may not express
as much as you would understand
but just listen to the
language of my heart:

YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME.

You planted a tree in my garden.

A TREE FOREVER.

She was not beautiful.
Nothing about her was extraordinary.
Nothing about her made stand out in a crowd.
She grew up in a family of six.
The eldest, she learnt responsibility at an early age.
As she grew stronger, and brighter,
she instilled a sort of light cheer to whomever she met.
She was not beautiful.
But she made others feel beautiful about themselves.
She meets a rebel boy who thinks he’s all man.
Befriending him, she teaches him how to read,
a little boost the man needed to go to college.
They became friends fast and she fell,
fast in love with her rugged, handsome student.
The “man” then finds himself in a dilemma.
He soon found himself in love with a girl.
A girl so beautiful, she turned even the
grouchiest men’s head.
Her hair was a halo of light around her.
Her eyes the bluest blue of ocean.
Like an angel he tells his tutor,
like a beautiful angel.
The girl swallows a lump at her throat.
She was not beautiful.
She did not possess the heart of the one she loved.
But she did not care.
As long as he was happy,
she would be or so she tried to.
She helped him write the most beautiful letter to his angel.
All the time envisioning that it was she herself
receiving those very letters.
And so the girl helped him choose the right words,
buy the right gifts for his angel.
His angel brought him much joy
and much pain to the girl who cried behind her smiles.
But that never stopped her from giving more
than she will ever received.
Then one day, all hell broke loose.
The angel he loved left him for another man,
a richer, more successful man.
The boy was stunned.
He was hurt he did not speak for days.
The girl went to him.
He cried on her shoulder and she cried with him.
He hurt and so did she.
Time went by.
And so the wounds heal.

The boy realizes something about his friend and tutor
he never realized before.
How her laughter sounded heavenly
or how her smiles brightened up the darkest days.
Or simply how beautiful, yes beautiful she looked to him!
Beautiful.
This plain, simple girl was beautiful to him.
And he began to fall.
Fall so in love with this beautiful girl.
On one day, he picked up all his courage to see her.
He walked to her house, nervous and fidgeting.
Running his thoughts over and over in his head.
He was going to tell her how wonderfully in love
he was with her.
He knocked.
No one was home.
The next day he found out,
The beautiful girl he fell in love with had
brain aneurysm.
That put her into a coma.
The doctors were grim and the family decided to
let her go.
One final time he got to see her.
He held her hand.
He stroked her hair,
and he cried for this beautiful girl.
He cried for he will never see her smile
or hear her speak his name.
He cried.
But it was too late.
The beautiful girl was buried and the heavens
broke out
in a beautiful spring shower, a cry for their
loss.
She was the most beautiful girl in the world.
Look around you.
Aren’t there a lot of plain faces?
Take a good look.
A real good look or you might miss out
on that beautiful person.
Forever.

Hope that we won’t allow this to happen to us… sometimes we’re too busy looking for the right one that we don’t see that he or she is just in front of us…

"The butterfly counts not months, but moments, and has time enough."

from "Fireflies"


"Night's darkness is a bag that bursts with the gold of the dawn."

from "Stray Birds"

"We possess only the HAPPINESS we are able to understand."

Count Maurice Maeterlinck

Sometimes, I feel that I am thirty different people…

Though, I AM, as always, in for the good, for the greatest cause of living…

But there are times evil lurks and causes me to be as bad as I can get…

I AM REALLY UNPREDICTABLE…

There is an ensuing battle of angels and demons within me….

Maybe, this is just a matter of being ambivalent…

Just like batteries with positive and negative ends…

One without the other won’t work.

But contrary to the film, “Batteries Not Included”,

I am a Battery with such unlike ends…

I am POSITIVE for the beauty of things to come…

I am NEGATIVE when things are down and the storm is up…

And surprisingly, LIFE GOES ON…

LIFE is An Experience of All Things Felt,

Of All Things Living,

Worth Fighting,

Worth Remembering.

LIFE IS ALL YOU GET!!!

Finally got to see Wong Kar Wai's visually stunning opus, 2046. It is the continuing story of his previous work, In The Mood for Love. It revolves around Tony Leung's character and his journey of capturing lost memories, both bitter and sweet and how he comes to terms of accepting it.

Tony Leung's character lamented that:

LOVE is all a matter of timing. It is no good use to find a perfect person too soon or too late.

I am still thinking aloud about it. Care to believe him or not?

dahil ba natutuwa ka sa kanya???...
o kaya naman naaaliw ka???...
naswee-sweetan ka ba ng sobra sa kanya???...
kinikilig ka ba pag nakikita mo siya???...
at nahi-high kapag naririnig mo na ang boses
niya???...

eh teka muna...
baka naman infatuated ka lang....
o kaya naman kagaya nga ng sagot mo...
BAKA naaaliw ka lang...
dahil kakaiba siya...
may spark na hindi mo maintindihan...

tsk!!!...
ang saklap nyan!...


pangalawa...

GAANO MO NA BA SIYA KAKILALA???...

madali ba siyang mapikon???...
pano ba siya mabadtrip???...
madali bang mahalata na may topak siya???...
ano bang suot niya pag nasa bahay siya???...
shorts ba o pantalon???...
nakasando ba siya o naka-t-shirt lang???...
matagal ba siyang maligo???....
kumakain ba siya ng vegetables???...
tamad ba siya???...
mas gusto ba niyang manood ng tv kaysa magba sa ng libro???... nagpe-play
station ba siya???... tatlo ba ang pamangkin niyang lalaki???...
makukulit ba yung mga kamag-anak niya???...
green ba ang kulay ng gate ng bahay nila???...
sa village ba siya nakatira???...
may sakayan ba ng jeep na malapit sa kanila???...
nagsisimba ba siya linggo-linggo???...
kasama ba yung pamilya niya???...
at nagdadasal ba siya bago matulog???...

in short...
alam mo na nga ba???...
ang mga bagay-bagay...
ang mga simpleng bagay tungkol sa kanya...
na nagdedetermine ng sarili niya...
as in kung sino ba talaga SIYA...

pangatlo...

KAYA MO BA SIYANG TANGGAPIN???...

as in TANGGAPIN ng buong-buo...

sa lahat ng trip niya sa buhay...
sa lahat ng katopakan niya...
sa lahat ng pag-iinarte at pag-dadrama niya...
sa lahat ng kasalanang nagawa, ginawa, at gagawin pa lang niya...
sa lahat ng naiisip niya... sa lahat ng sasabihin niya... sa kilos niya...
sa pananamit pa pala niya ... sa pagsasalita...
sa pananaw niya sa buhay... sa pagtrato niya sa tao...
sa lifestyle niya... sa uri ng pamilyang meron siya...
sa uri ng kaibigang kasa-kasama niya...
sa style niya pagdating sa love... sa kasweetan niyang natural...
sa paglalambing niya... sa tawa niyang pagkalakas-lakas...
sa manners niya... sa bisyo niya kung meron man...
sa mga pang-aasar niya sayo... sa style niya pagdating sa pagsolve ng
problema...
sa problemang maaari ka ring masama...

pang-apat...

KAYA MO BANG MAGING TOTOO???...

kaya mo bang makita yung sarili mo...
na kasama pa rin siya ha...
sa isang sitwasyong pag naisip mo eh...
mapapaiyak ka na lang sa sakit...
nang dahil din sa kanya???...

kaya mo bang magmukhang tanga...
as in umiyak ng dahil sa kababawan...
ibuhos ang mga nararamdaman mo...
kahit na puro kababawan nga lang naman...
as in kahit sa harapan niya???...

kaya mo bang maging barubal pag kasama mo siya???...
yung tipo bang wala ka ng pakielam...
mawala man ang manners mo...
na wala ka naman talaga...

in short...

KAYA MO BANG MAGING IKAW KAPAG KASAMA MO NA SIYA???...

yung tipong hindi ka nahihiyang ipakita kung sino ka talaga...
dahil alam mong...

HINDI MO LANG SIYA TANGGAP...

TANGGAP KA RIN NIYA...

BUONG-BUO RIN...

MGA TAO!!!...
tama na kasi ang trip...
tama na ang pagmamadali...
oo masarap ngang mainvolve sa isang tao...
pero diba mas masarap yun...

LALO NA KUNG ALAM MONG TOTOO YUNG
NARARAMDAMAN MO....

kaya dapat, hinde tayo nagpapabulag sa akala nating LOVE....
mag antay na lang tayo....
wag natin unahan....

for all we know, nde pa pala cya ang para sa atin......

pero pag nasagot mo lahat ng nasa taas.... baka nga mahal mo na cya....

There are two kinds of people, The Looking and The Not-Looking. The Looking are the ones who are bounded with a lot of Expectations... They are the ones who are "nakakatakot" around for they simply want to receive and not to give.... I want to meet The Not-Looking people because they are Complete even as they are... Poise. Confidence. Self-Sufficiency is written all over them and simply because I am also a Not-Looking person. I maybe incomplete but I do believe that in this life's journey, I am destined to grow and bloom with the help of people who give... For LIFE is a LEARNING STAGE. There are people who'll play supporting roles to our lives, just as we'll play supporting roles to their lives. And when their parts are over, they fade away...just we fade away when we have done our parts for them.

"My life is very monotonous. I hunt chickens, men hunt me. All the chickens are just alike and all men are just alike. And in consequence, I am a little bored. But if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. I shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others...
Other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. Yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. You see the grainfields down yonder? I do not eat bread. Wheat is of no use to me. The wheatfields have nothing to say to me. And that is quite sad. But you have hair that is the color of gold. Look, how wonderful it will be when you have tamed me. The grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. And I shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat..."
Antoine de-Sainte Exupery

1. “Amelie” by Jean-Pierre Jeunet
2. Wim Wenders’ “Wings of Desire”
3. “My Life As A Dog” by Lasse Halstrom
4. Ingmar Bergman’s “The Seventh Seal”, “Wild Strawberries” and “The Virgin Spring”
5. Mikhail Kalatozov’s “The Cranes Are Flying” and “I Am Cuba”
6. Julian Schnabel’s “Before Night Falls”
7. Marguerite Duras’s “The Lover” (directed by Jean Jacques Annaud)
8. The films of German director Tom Tykwer (“Heaven”, “Life is All You Get”, “Run, Lola, Run” and “The Princess and the Warrior”)
9. The films of Spaniard Pedro Almodovar (“Women On The Verge of A Nervous Breakdown”, “Kika”, “Live Flesh”, “Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down”, “All About My Mother” and “Talk to Her”)
10. Peter Greenaway’s “The Pillow Book” and “The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover”
11. “Aguirre, The Wrath of God” by Werner Herzog
12. “The Piano” by Jane Campion
13. Satyajit Ray’s “The Apu Trilogy” and “The Goddess”
14. “Warm Water Under A Red Bridge” by Shohei Imamura
15. The films of Wong Kar Wai (“Chungking Express”, “Happy Together”, “In The Mood for Love” and “2046”)
16. “Muriel’s Wedding” by P.J. Hogan
17. Miklos Jancso’s “Red Psalm”
18. “Cidade de Deus” by Fernando Meirelles
19. “Swept from The Sea” by Beeban Keedron
20. “Bridges of Madison County” by Clint Eastwood
21. “The Shawshank Redemption” by Frank Darabont
22. “Empire of The Sun” by Steven Spielberg
23. “City of No Limits” by Antonio Hernandez
24. “Swept Away” by Lina Wertmuller
25. Luis Buñuel’s “Los Olvidados”, “The Discreet Charm of The Bourgeoisie” and “Belle de Jour”
26. Alfonso Cuaron’s “Great Expectations” and “Y Tu Mama Tambien”
27. Bigas Luna’s “Son de Mar”, “Las Edades de Lulu” and his sex trilogy, ‘Jamon! Jamon!”, “Golden Balls” and “The Tit and The Moon”
28. Akira Kurosawa’s “Rashomon” and “Dreams”
29. The films of Roman Polanski (“Repulsion”, “Rosemary’s Baby”, “China Town” and “The Pianist”)
30. “The End of The Affair” by Neil Jordan
31. “Thelma and Louise” by Ridley Scott
32. Peter Weir’s “Dead Poets Society”
33. “Central Station” by Walter Salles
34. “Reality Bites” by Ben Stiller
35. “Clandestinos” by Fernando Perez
36. “El Crimen del Padre Amaro” (directed by Carlos Carrera)
37. The women films of Gillian Armstrong (“My Brilliant Career”, “High Tide”, “Mrs. Soffel”, “Little Women” and “Oscar and Lucinda”)
38. “The Graduate” by Mike Nichols
39. Alfred Hitchcock’s suspense thrillers (“Rear Window”, “Vertigo” and “Psycho”)
40. Charlie Chaplin’s comedies (“City Lights”, “Modern Times” and “Gold Rush”)
41. Laura Esquivel’s “Like Water for Chocolate” (directed by Alfonso Arau)
42. Anthony Minghella’s “The English Patient”
43. Controversial French filmmaker Catherine Brelliat’s strong women films (“Romance X”, “Brief Crossing” and “Fat Girl”)
44. Vicente Aranda’s “Carmen” and “La Mirada del Otro”
45. “The Last Temptation of Christ” by Martin Scorsese
46. Alejandro Gonzales Iñarittu’s “Amores Perros” and “21 Grams”
47. “The King is Alive” by Danish filmmaker Kristian Levring
48. Lars von Trier’s Dogma movies (“Breaking The Waves”, “The Kingdom”, “The Idiots” and “Dancer in The Dark”)
49. French cinema’s enfant terrible Francois Ozon’s shorts and features (“Summer Dress”, “Bedtime Stories”, “x2000”, “Sitcom”, “Criminal Lovers” and “8 Women”)
50. “The Hours” by Stephen Daldry
51. Dutch film of the Century, “Turkish Delight” (directed by Paul Verhoeven)
52. The second greatest British film of all time, “Brief Encounter” (directed by David Lean)
53. Italian Surrealist films (Federico Fellini’s “Juliet of The Spirits” and Michelangelo Antonioni’s “Red Desert")
54. “Baise-moi” by Virginie Despentes
55. “In The Realm of The Senses” by Nagisha Oshima”
56. “Salo or 120 Days of Sodom” by Pier Paolo Pasolini
57. “Eye of The Beholder” by Stephan Elliot”
58. “Baran” by Iranian filmmaker Majjid Majjidi
59. “Ladybird, Ladybird” by Ken Loache
60. “Queen Margot” by Patrice Chereau
61. French New Wave films (Francois Truffaut’s “400 Blows”, Jean-Luc Godard’s “Breathless” and Alain Resnais “Hiroshima Mon Amour”)
62. “Burnt Money” by Marcelo Piñeyro
63. “Un Chant D’Amour” by Jean Jennet (short film)
64. Michael Moore’s biting documentaries, “Bowling for Columbine” and “Fahrenheit 9/11”
65. Andrey Tarkovsky’s “The Sacrifice”
66. Stanley Kubrick’s “A Clockwork Orange”, “Dr. Strangelove” and “2001: A Space Odyssey”
67. “Frida” (directed by Julie Taymor)
68. The films of Lino Brocka (“Tinimbang Ka Ngunit Kulang”, “Maynila, Sa Mga Kuko Ng Liwanag”, “Insiang”, “Jaguar”, “Bona”, “Bayan Ko: Kapit sa Patalim”, “Orapronobis”, “Macho Dancer” and “Gumapang Ka sa Lusak”)
69. The films of Ishmael Bernal (“Pagdating sa Dulo”, “Nunal sa Tubig”, “Manila By Night”, “Himala”, “Relasyon”, “Hinugot sa Langit” and “Nagalit ang Buwan sa Haba ng Gabi”)
70. The films of Mike de Leon (“Itim”, “Batch ‘81”, “Sister Stella L.”, “Kisapmata”, “Kakabakaba-kaba” and “Bayaning 3rd World”)
71. The best women films in Philippine Cinema (Marilou Diaz-Abaya’s “Brutal”, “Moral”, “Karnal” and “May Nagmamahal Sa’yo”, Laurice Guillen’s “Salome” and “Init sa Magdamag”, Joel Lamangan’s “Sidhi”, Jeffrey Jeturian’s “Pila-Balde” and “Tuhog”, Tikoy Aguiluz’s “Segurista” and “Tatarin”, Maryo J. delos Reyes’ “Tagos ng Dugo”, Chito S. Roño’s “Dahas” and “Curacha”, and Carlos Siguion-Reyna’s “Inagaw Mo Ang Lahat Sa Akin” and “Abot-Kamay Ang Pangarap”)
72. Chito S. Roño’s “Laro sa Baga”
73. Carlos Siguion-Reyna’s “Kahapon, May Dalawang Bata”
74. Peque Gallaga’s “Oro, Plata, Mata” and “Scorpio Nights”
75. The best independent films in Philippine Cinema (Kidlat Tahimik’s “Mga Mababangong Bangungot”(short film), Raymond Red’s “Bayani” and Lav Diaz’s “Batang West Side” and “Ebolusyon ng Isang Pamilyang Pilipino”)